Our first home study visit is this afternoon! Things are moving so quickly and it’s amazing that we’re at this stage already. It’s hard to believe that just on January 9, we were starting the process at our adoptive parent training. From that to home visits in less than 6 weeks! I’m a newbie to all this, but I think that is pretty fast for adoption timeline standards. And that’s not a bad thing!
I’m a little anxious and nervous for our first visit, but only because it’s the new and unknown. Our caseworker told us that this meeting will be focused on chatting and getting to know us. Robbie and I will be together for this visit, but next visit we will be separated and questioned. Sounds like an interrogation, right? It may sound that way at first, but we know that’s not the case. Or at least we hope not! 😉 They want to know intimately and extensively about the family that is looking to adopt a child. We understand why this is and it’s very important. They’re not going to bless us with a child just because we want one. Throughout this journey, I’ve learned that adoption is child-centered. And it should be. Having a baby this way shifts from things you’re able to control and center on… you and your pregnancy… and the focus becomes on the adopted child. It no longer is centered around the couple, it’s centered on the child. The goal of adoption is about finding a family for a child not finding a child for a family. It’s about what’s best for the child, not what’s best for us. It’s extremely humbling to think of it that way. The past 4-5 years of trying to get pregnant have definitely been about us and our goals of pregnancy. This is a shift our hearts are ready for and we know that our wishes and wants need to become secondary.
Now that we’re in the home study stage, our eyes are set on the next stage… becoming active and entering the waiting pool! We launched our fundraiser page earlier this week and a big heartfelt thank you to everyone who’s donated! Our immediate goal and focus is the $15,000 needed to enter the waiting pool by the end of next month. It’s extremely daunting, but we are going to get there. Once the three home visits are complete, our caseworker will take all that information about us and our home and create a write-up or report. It’s very thorough and detailed and I hear it’s something like 20-30 pages long. They say it will take about 2 weeks after our last visit for our caseworker to put together. Our goal is to come up with our Waiting Pool fee by April 1, though, if our caseworker is to complete everything as scheduled (3 home visits over the next 2 weeks + 2 weeks for write up), we could be ready to enter the waiting pool by March 21! (I actually only just did the math on that right now and my jaw nearly hit the floor.) We could have birth mothers and families looking at our profile in a little over a month. But, we can’t get there until we hit that financial goal because they require it before we can proceed. Robbie and I paid the home study fees yesterday since that needed to be completed before our caseworker could come out today. You better believe we were at the bank dumping coins in the coin machine trying to meet that goal!
We’re going to do everything we can to earn and raise money. Garage sales, I’m reopening my Etsy shop, and some other fun ideas we have in store so keep your eyes open for those announcements! We are overwhelmed by the kindness, generosity, and outpouring of love and support. We’ve had donations to our fund, friends contacting us about fundraising for us, donations to our garage sale… it’s just amazing. Anything helps… truly. I’ve had someone say, “Is $10 okay?” It is and it’s extremely generous. Whatever you donate, whether it’s $5 or $50, $10 or $100, we appreciate it. More than you will ever know.
Also, if you’re comfortable doing so, please share our story and our fundraising page! Whether it’s face to face, via Facebook, social media, or email, spreading the word is helpful.
All right, I have to go tidy up the house and get ready for visit #1! I was on Pinterest earlier and read that one should bake cookies for the home visit because it smells “homey” and you know… who doesn’t like cookies? Whoops. Strike one. Hopefully, chips and hummus will do! 😉
Wish us luck and keep us in your thoughts and prayers!