Robbie and I have longed to become parents and to have a family of our own for many years. We prayed for successful pregnancies and hoped to adopt at some point. We never imagined that we would face the heartbreaking journey of infertility. It has been over 4 difficult, emotional years trying to conceive, and we have gone through countless fertility treatments, IUI’s, IVF’s, medications, and surgeries. I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis and we’ve not only had difficulty getting pregnant, but also staying pregnant. It’s a personal, painful part of of our story, but we’d like to share it in hopes of helping others. At the very least, so others know they are not alone! Infertility is not a subject that is often talked about, nor is pregnancy loss. Anytime I’ve met someone who has had similar struggles, I’ve always left feeling comforted and less alone. I admit, I feel very vulnerable deciding to open up, but at the same time, my heart is ready.
If you have experienced infertility or know someone who has, you know how devastating it is to go through. We’ve been pregnant twice before and we were oh so hopeful… it’s such a heartbreaking fall to finally become pregnant but to never meet that child. We’ve experienced an ectopic pregnancy and also a miscarriage… nothing quite prepares you for the sadness and pain. In the midst of it all, life is going on all around you and you try to muster up more hope and courage and remind yourself, “Not yet. It just wasn’t our time yet.” If you are struggling, I am so sorry and I wish I could embrace you in the biggest hug right now. I was once told it’s a pain that is always ahead of you and never behind you, a recurring cycle of grief and loss. Fertility treatments take a toll… they are draining emotionally, physically, financially, and on the relationship. We’ve stayed strong, but there were many moments of tears and stress.
We had a plan in mind and we tried everything we could to fulfill it. Well, isn’t it amazing when we come to realize it isn’t our plan, but His? And all along God has had something greater in store for us. After feeling completely broken after our last fertility treatment, we prayed like we never have before. We surrendered like we never have before. We thought we had been giving it to God, but in that moment, we truly did. And, in that same moment, we decided we no longer wanted to push or pursue treatments.
In the following days and months, we continued to pray and listen. Sure enough, God guided us and revealed what we should do. He truly was speaking to our hearts! We knew we were being called to adopt and we cannot explain the peace and joy that followed that decision. We have the hearts for adoption and this is part of the beautiful plan for our family! The trials and tribulations were blessings in disguise, chapters in our story leading us here, every step guided by His unfailing grace. All of it has been His grand design, His love in the details, His faithfulness. And once we hold our baby, we know everything we’ve endured was because of this little child, that God was aligning our souls long before we uttered that first prayer years ago.
My heart is so happy that it could burst! We are super excited! I hope you join us in celebrating our journey to become parents! We’re often told we’ll get pregnant now and I think this response is to reassure or a way to say don’t give up hope. But honestly and truly, please don’t worry! If we get pregnant in the future, we believe it will be if and when God blesses us with pregnancy, His perfect timing. We are fully devoted to this adoption! It’s truly a dream come true! So while we planned for pregnancy for all those years, our true prayer and wish above all else was to become parents! To have and love a child. And there are many awesome ways to get there! God’s work is amazing, and whether that is through natural means, fertility treatments, or adoption–it’s all incredible and I celebrate them equally. This is our special path and we feel blessed beyond words. Adoption is so beautiful. It’s a different journey than pregnancy, but our joy is the same and it’s in no way Plan B to us. God’s plan is always Plan A. We are overjoyed to finally say we ARE expecting! We’re “paper pregnant” and we couldn’t be more thrilled!
Helpful Blog Posts:
Adoption Timeline & Progress:
- Visit and look into different agencies – Check!
- Choose agency, send in Formal Application, and start the process ($ due) – Sent and paid 1/7/16
- Adoptive Parent Seminar/Training ($ due) – Completed and paid 1/9/16
- Home Study Packet / start all the paperwork – Packet received 1/22/16
- FBI Fingerprint/Criminal History Check – Check!
- Send References – Check!
- Take photos for announcement and profile book (thank you Whitney Summers Photography!)- Done 2/8/16
- CPR/First Aid class – Completed 2/13/16
- Share our adoption news with everyone! Yay! – 2/14/16
- Additional Training Hours – Done
- 1st Home Study Visit ($ due to start Home Study process) – Paid and visit on 2/19/16
- 2nd Home Study Visit – Visit on 2/26/16
- Finish paint and flooring in nursery – Done
- Safety proof the house for final home visit – Done
- Put together first aid kit items for final home visit – Done
- Complete paperwork, forms, and more paperwork for home study – Check!
- Physicals with our primary care physicians – Check
- 3rd & Final Home Study Visit – Completed 3/8/16!
- Complete Profile Book – Check! Labor of love!
- Launch Etsy Shop – Still a work in process, but check! foreverinfaith.etsy.com
- Enter the Waiting Pool/Become Active! ($ due – need to raise) – Done! Met on 5/5/16 and paid 5/6. Praise God!
- Instagram Adoption Auction May 29-31 – Done! Raised $801!
- Garage Sale Fundraiser July 15-16 – Done! Raised $1500!
- CrossFit Adoption WOD Fundraiser? – TBD (never happened, we’ll do it next time!) 😉
- Awaiting match with expectant mother/family – MATCHED WITH A BABY GIRL ON 7/19! We can’t wait to meet little Hazel, due late September 2016!
- Placement with baby (Final $ due – need to raise!) – HAZEL BORN ON 10/2! Papers signed and Hazel officially placed with us on 10/3!
Ways to Help:
- Send us encouraging words
- Keep us in your thoughts and send positivity!
- Lift us up in prayer, along with our future birth mother and baby-to-be.
Pray for everyone involved, Robbie and me, a smooth adoption process and that we hit our goals, our agency and social worker, peace, guidance, and healing for the expectant mother, a healthy pregnancy, a safe delivery, and a healthy child.
- Donate to our adoption fund:
- You can also contact me directly if you prefer to not go through GoFundMe to donate, or you can contact me with any other fundraiser ideas!
- We’re in the midst of renovating upstairs (paint and new flooring in the bedrooms) and the home study visits are starting much sooner than we expected! The week of 2/15/16! We definitely thought we’d have another month, but at the same time, we’re so blessed that God is moving so quickly! We’re doing our best to finish the paint and flooring before our final home study visit which will be in early March. That’s when our caseworker plans to do an extensive walk through of our home. If you are able to help with paint or flooring, or know somehow, please let us know!
Thank you so much for any or all of the above!
Your love, support, and prayers mean the world to us and we are beyond grateful!
Michelle & Robbie